Excellence Above Talent Podcast
The State of Man Is in Crisis—It’s Time for a Conversation.
The Excellence Above Talent podcast was born from pain, loss, and a deep need for change.
- Men are 3.6 times more likely to die by suicide than women.
- Men commit the majority of violence in the U.S., including domestic abuse and sexual assault.
- 90% of the prison population consists of men.
These are not just statistics—they represent broken families, lost lives, and a cycle of harm and abuse that must end.
As a BIPP (Batterer’s Intervention and Prevention Program) Director for four years, I’ve had countless conversations with men—men who believed abuse was necessary, men who didn’t even realize they were abusers. What I learned is that men want to talk, but they have no safe space to do so.
Society teaches men to suppress their struggles, to avoid vulnerability, and to uphold a toxic version of manhood. But silence is destroying us.
The Excellence Above Talent podcast is here to challenge the status quo. We’re redefining what it means to be a man—one conversation at a time.
Join me. Let’s fight for the future of manhood. Our sons are watching.
#ExcellenceAboveTalent #MensMentalHealth #RedefiningManhood #BreakTheCycle
Excellence Above Talent Podcast
Choose Your Battles: Fighting for Growth vs. Fighting to Impress
Have you ever felt trapped between the person you've been and the person you're meant to become? That uncomfortable space of transformation is exactly where Aaron Thomas finds himself.
Aaron opens his heart about the mental struggle he's been experiencing while trying to deepen his relationship with God. He describes the intense pressure that comes from trying to let go of an old identity while simultaneously resisting the birth of something new. "The old has gone, the new is here," he quotes from 2 Corinthians 5:17, but acknowledges that the space between old and new can be excruciating.
With remarkable honesty, Aaron shares how this resistance to transformation has led him back to old patterns like pornography, which then creates additional layers of shame, inadequacy, and isolation. He explores the irony of men demanding submission from others while refusing to submit themselves to anything higher.
This episode serves as a powerful reminder that pressure will eventually find release—either through the birth of something new or the destructive bursting of pipes. Aaron challenges listeners to choose their battles wisely: fight to become your best self rather than fighting to impress others with a false image of masculinity. The world doesn't get easier, but you will get stronger.
If you're struggling with identity, purpose, or transformation, this episode offers both compassionate understanding and a clarion call to embrace the discomfort of growth. Subscribe now and join a community of men committed to becoming the best versions of themselves.
#excellenceabovetalent #EAT #dontgiveup #youdeservethebest #youareenough ...
You're listening to Excellence Above Talent, a podcast where we have the hard conversations about the lives of men and what leads us to achieve greatness and suffer defeat. Hear from other men's journeys as well, as we all learn and grow together to become inspirations to ourselves and those around us. And now your host, Aaron Thomas.
Speaker 2:What's up, my beautiful people? Aaron Thomas, with Excellence Above Talent man, I have been struggling mentally for about two to three weeks and it's a all struggle is different. You know, everyone doesn't have a struggle with the same thing, and I have been wanting to create a closer relationship with God. So the things that I used to do or say or think affect me, because my thought process is I want to be a man after God's own heart and for most of my life I have done things the way I think those things need to be done and then ask God later if that is what he wants me to do. And I'm in this struggle of redefining myself because a lot of times I think people and I say I am who I am deal with it, and sometimes God is like, yeah, you are who you are, but I'm not dealing with this version of who you are. I want this version of who you are. And now you're in a mental battle because God's version of who he wants you to be is a version you've never seen has taken care of you and your life and who you are and where you've been your whole entire life. And so now you're in this battle of submission while still trying to hold on to this old version of yourself.
Speaker 2:And there is a Bible verse that talks about this 2 Corinthians 5 and 17. Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come. The old has gone. The new is here. Has come, the old has gone, the new is here. No one talks about that middle piece between the old and the new and the struggle. Now, the struggle isn't because God is making you struggle. The struggle is you not letting go of the old to come into the new. It takes courage to stop who you have been 20, 30, 40, 50 plus years and go into a different direction where you're rebuilding and you're renewing and you're figuring things out all over again.
Speaker 2:And if you stay in the state of your old self, there's pressure. I've always wondered why preachers talked about birthing something new, something is coming through, something is coming out of, until now, because I feel like there's just a pressure on my life that it's pushing me to rule something Like I'm coming out of a womb. I'm saying it and the people who understand will understand. The people who don't will think I'm saying something weird. But that is what it is. But it's forcing me to. I'll put this as an analogy. So we've all been on that ride at the carnival, the spaceship ride, where it just goes around and around and around and around in circles, and so you really can't move or do anything. The force is forcing you to have your back against the wall, and that's the force that I'm feeling now. But that force is forcing you to have your back against the wall, and that's the force that I'm feeling now. But that force is trying to push me out of something into something, and I am holding on for dear life from things that I know aren't benefiting me in my life right now. And I'm also understanding.
Speaker 2:A lot of men run around here talking about women be submissive, be submissive, be submissive. Understanding now how hard submitting yourself to someone or to something is, especially if you have your own way of doing things. And so it's coming at me on two folds, where the pressure of pushing through something as well as submitting to something has created this mental frustration. And instead of digging deep and trying to figure out why I felt this way, I just jumped into work. I jumped into putting more content out, being on podcasts and putting more podcast information out. You know, putting more podcast information out.
Speaker 2:And I'll tell you this anytime and this is something that I've realized I'm going down a certain path and I start doing old things that I know are going to lead to other things. I know that that's God essentially trying to push me into something new. So pornography hasn't been an issue in my life. So, backtrack, pornography has been an issue in my life for majority of my life. But I started to get a hold of it the past two to three years where I started to call it out. I started to ask myself why am I doing the things that I'm doing? What is this going to accomplish? But anytime, I feel a massive pressure to move the new person that God is trying to push me into.
Speaker 2:Not only have I created this pressure in not submitting fully into the calling that God has for my life, but then I'm also throwing pornography back on top of all the things that I'm fighting, and it's creating a sadness, it's creating anger, it's creating frustration, it's creating me being more critical of myself. It's creating the feeling of helplessness, of insecurity. Feeling of helplessness, of insecurity is creating the feeling of being ashamed, guilty, isolated, inadequate, insignificant, discouraged, embarrassed. On the outside looking in, no one would see that. And the only reason why people would know it is because I'm talking about it. I can put up a front and act like everything's okay. That's a very easy thing to do, but sitting back and trying to figure out why I'm feeling this way sometimes take longer, because I don't want to sit down and have the conversation. But at some point that pressure becomes overwhelming and all of those feelings and emotions that I just said I was going through it's not just me anymore. I bring that to the job, I bring that inside the house towards a wife, towards the people that are in my life, and it has nothing to do with them and everything to do with me.
Speaker 2:So you're fighting all these battles and sometimes we as Christians say, oh, the devil has me under attack and he's attacking me. But no, sometimes you're doing it to yourself and the devil has he's not doing anything. You're doing it to yourself and the devil has he's not doing anything. He's just watching you and laughing because you're trying to make, you're trying to find an excuse or a reason as to why you're feeling and or doing the things that you're doing, instead of just being accountable and saying, yeah, I'm doing these things because I'm running from something or I'm trying to hide, and there's no hiding from God. I can just think off the top of my head in three different instances where people try to hide from God. And God said bro, I see you, and it was Adam when he ate the fruit Cain, and Abel Cain killed Abel Jonah, running from his calling.
Speaker 2:I was sitting on my couch today and God said I see you, I see what you're fighting. I see who you're trying to become. I see the kindness and love in your heart. I see you. I don't know who needs to hear what I'm saying right now and it might just be for me, but I will tell you this God sees you in your mess, in your running, in your hiding, in your sin, in you trying to be perfect, in you gossiping and bringing other people down because you don't feel good about your life. In the midst of all the crazy things that are going on in this world, there is a God who sees through it all and sees you for who you are, and it's super important to submit to the person that sees you and wants the best for you.
Speaker 2:The struggle doesn't have to be a struggle. Sometimes it's a choice, and I've been choosing to struggle silently. Because who wants to talk about this? Who wants to dig deep and find the reason why they are feeling the way they're feeling? Who wants to put their feelings and emotions out to the masses so people can look down or talk about?
Speaker 2:But I do know one thing regardless of if I want to or not, my voice will be heard. If I want to or not, my voice will be heard, because I don't want to run from the opportunity of having one man just slow down and start asking those critical questions as to why, why am I doing the things that I'm doing? Can I do it better? Am I hurting the people that I love? Am I running around saying my family should submit to me but I have no nothing that I'm submitted to? That has to be one of the scariest men alive Men alive, a man who lives by the notion of do what I say, don't do what I do. So I say submit, while I'm not submitting to anything. As a man, how can I understand what submission is and what I'm expecting from the people in my life if I've never submitted to anything, anything?
Speaker 2:So sometimes, as men, we create these pockets and spaces where it's us fighting the greatness that's inside of us, because we are afraid of the unknown, we are afraid that we could fail, we are afraid of being viewed as less than a man by not being able to take care of your family. So you stay in this pocket and you're miserable and everyone around you you make miserable and you're fighting just to survive, hoping that one day it'll get better. But I'm here to tell you the only way it's going to get better is if you sit down and you start to have that difficult conversation with yourself and you learn how to submit to God or your higher power. Give it up. Give it up. The version of yourself that you see is not the version of yourself that God sees, is not the version of yourself that God sees, and I would rather be the version that God sees of me than my version, because my version is broken and flawed. So stay in the fight, because that's the beauty of life. I'm not saying these things because I'm just like oh my gosh, life is so bad, life is good, but this is the fight that people talk about.
Speaker 2:Each and every day you get up. You have to fight for something. You have to fight to get up and go to the gym, especially at five o'clock in the morning. Who wants to do that? You have to fight some days to go to work because you just don't feel like it. There's other things on your mind. You have to fight to create a space for your family to come in and feel peace. You have to fight every day to be the best version of yourself. You have to fight to submit to God daily. You have to fight the thoughts that are in your head sometimes that make you feel like you're not enough and you're not worthy, because you are. But you have to fight through it all. Maybe that's why men commit suicide at a higher rate than women, because sometimes that fighting becomes overwhelming, especially if you're fighting in silence, if you've been there and done that to where you would think it's better for me and everybody else that I'm not here, because you feel like you have to fight for everything. And you don't have to fight for everything. You do have to fight to be the best version of yourself, but you don't have to fight to try to be the best version for other people. You don't have to fight society and what society thinks a man should and how a man should act. You have to fight the old version of you and fight into the new version of you. And that new version has to fight daily too.
Speaker 2:You will not get away from fighting, but choose what you're fighting for. Choose who you're fighting for. If you're fighting to be more closer to God and have that relationship and be a man after God's own heart, that is a good fight. If you're fighting to be the best version of yourself, that is a good fight. If you're fighting for your family, that is a good fight. If you're fighting for your family, that is a good fight. If you're fighting for your career, that is a good fight. But if you're fighting to show other people what type of a man you are, that's a losing battle. If you're trying to show society how tough you are, that is a losing battle. If you're trying to fight in silence, that is a losing battle.
Speaker 2:You will never win and that pressure will explode at some point and see, that's the crazy thing. And then I'm done, because now I'm talking like a preacher at a church. One more thing and I'm done. No, I got like 12 more minutes left. But that's the crazy thing. Pressure will burst pipes. And I was talking about me feeling that pressure and there's a bursting or a birthing that's about to happen or that I want to happen. When fully submitting to what God is calling me to do or be or to say, or just fully committing to that that God wants me to go.
Speaker 2:That pipe is now burst and I'm walking into what God is calling me to do and, on the other hand, there is this pipe and this pressure and I know what I need to do. I know it's not necessarily what I need to do, because I don't know if anyone ever knows what they need to do, but there is a yearning to follow down this path and you're choosing to stay in the path that you're on because it's comfortable and it's easy and you're making enough money and you don't feel like you need to go down this new path. But there's this pressure saying your life isn't where I want it to be. There are bigger things in your life that you can accomplish, and you stay on this, in this pipe, on this path, and frustration and anger and hostility and hurt and selfishness begins to fester. You try to create distance, you're sarcastic, you're frustrated, you're just not a good person on the inside and you're trying to keep it on the inside because you don't want to hurt your wife, your kids, the people that's in your life.
Speaker 2:But one day, through all that pressure, that pipe will burst and it will get on the people that you say you wanted to protect and provide for, and that's not what you want as a man. So you have two different paths, you have two different pipes. You have two different ways you can go about making the best choices for you and your family. One choice leads to destruction and trauma and pain and hurt, and the other one leads you to freedom in the form of submission. So if anyone hasn't told you today that they love you, let me be the first to say I love you. You are awesome. You deserve the best that this world has to offer. Do not give up, do not quit. The world does not get easier, but y'all, you will get stronger. Have a blessed weekend. Bye-bye.
Speaker 1:Thank you for listening. Be sure to subscribe to the podcast so you never miss an episode, and for daily motivational and up-to-date content. Follow us on Facebook and Instagram at Excellence Above Talent. And remember keep moving forward, never give up and you are never alone in this battle. We'll see you next time.
