Excellence Above Talent Podcast
The State of Man Is in Crisis—It’s Time for a Conversation.
The Excellence Above Talent podcast was born from pain, loss, and a deep need for change.
- Men are 3.6 times more likely to die by suicide than women.
- Men commit the majority of violence in the U.S., including domestic abuse and sexual assault.
- 90% of the prison population consists of men.
These are not just statistics—they represent broken families, lost lives, and a cycle of harm and abuse that must end.
As a BIPP (Batterer’s Intervention and Prevention Program) Director for four years, I’ve had countless conversations with men—men who believed abuse was necessary, men who didn’t even realize they were abusers. What I learned is that men want to talk, but they have no safe space to do so.
Society teaches men to suppress their struggles, to avoid vulnerability, and to uphold a toxic version of manhood. But silence is destroying us.
The Excellence Above Talent podcast is here to challenge the status quo. We’re redefining what it means to be a man—one conversation at a time.
Join me. Let’s fight for the future of manhood. Our sons are watching.
#ExcellenceAboveTalent #MensMentalHealth #RedefiningManhood #BreakTheCycle
Excellence Above Talent Podcast
The Burden of Unspoken Struggles: Why Men Hide Their Pain
Men often fight battles in silence, not because no one cares but because they've been conditioned to suppress vulnerability and avoid appearing weak. The pressure to maintain a facade of strength creates a dangerous cycle where unaddressed struggles transform into destructive behaviors, broken relationships, and sometimes tragic outcomes.
• Cultural conditioning teaches men that showing emotion equals weakness
• Shame and fear of judgment prevent men from seeking help when needed
• Silent battles often become addictions, anger issues, or worse
• Pressure builds until men explode, usually hurting those closest to them
• Society rewards the appearance of having it together, even when men are falling apart
• Breaking silence requires self-accountability and daily check-ins
• True strength is found in admitting weakness, not hiding it
• Men need community and tribes where vulnerability is accepted
• Start small by admitting stress to someone trusted
• Evaluate relationships - if you can't be vulnerable with someone, they may not be good for you
If no one has told you today that they love you, let me be the first to say I love you. You're awesome, you're amazing. You deserve the best that this world has to offer. Do not give up, do not quit. The world does not get easier, but you will get stronger.
#excellenceabovetalent #EAT #dontgiveup #youdeservethebest #youareenough ...
You're listening to Excellence Above Talent, a podcast where we have the hard conversations about the lives of men and what leads us to achieve greatness and suffer defeat. Hear from other men's journeys as well, as we all learn and grow together to become inspirations to ourselves and those around us. And now your host, Aaron Thomas.
Speaker 2:What's up my beautiful people, aaron Thomas, with Excellence Above Talent, I want to stay consistent. The start of this year I said I wanted to do two podcasts a month. I missed one in July, but I've been pretty consistent the rest of this year. So I'm going to stay consistent. So something that's been on my mind is the weight of silence, why men don't ask for help until it's dang near, almost too late. Not saying that asking for help and getting the help that is needed is important, but as men we shouldn't wait until the very last minute. So most men are fighting a battle no one knows about, not because no one cares, because a lot of times we think as men, no one cares about what we're going through, we don't let people in. So men are taught to be strong, to be able to handle all situations, to man up, and in doing so that condition creates a silence and as humans we struggle in silence. So I've had or my issue a lot of times is if I'm going through something, I don't say anything. But in not saying anything creates pressure, and in order to alleviate pressure, because I can't say anything, I go to things that I know aren't going to help me in the process. Alcohol I go to in the past, the women in the past, porn, anger these are the things that come out because I try to be or stay silent. In a struggle that I'm going through when you bottle something up, that bottling process will always almost break you. So why do men stay silent? Culture Men are told that emotions are weakness and in this society a weak man is a man that gets ran over by everybody, and you don't want to be that.
Speaker 2:It gets ran over by everybody and you don't want to be that. You don't want your kids to be seen as weak. You don't want to be seen as weak. So you hold on to all of this pressure or you hold on to what you're going through because you don't want to be looked at as a weak man. Shame, because we are told that we can't be weak. If we feel weak, that brings shame onto our lives. Asking for help feels like we're failing and so we don't do what we need to do, or we don't do what we know we need to do in asking for help because we feel like we've already failed as a man.
Speaker 2:The fear of judgment is also another one, if I admit that I am weak in a certain area, will people respect me less Newsflash? We are all weak in certain areas. There is not anyone at a 100% overall. If you ever play Madden or NBA game, no one is ever 100%. You get 99%, but that means you still have things that you need to work on.
Speaker 2:So to feel like I can't ask for help because someone's going to judge me is a feeling that has been created by you and the people around you, because we all need help and we sometimes stay silent as men, because there are too many men that have figured out a way to get past what they have gone through, but they don't say anything. There are not enough male role models out there in this world to help this next generation forward. There are too many men that are silent. There are too many men that aren't vulnerable with their feelings and emotions to say, hey, I've been through this and this is what helped me through. So in coaching, a lot of times if an athlete is hurt, they don't say anything until they can't play, because they don't want to feel like they have let the team down. They don't want to feel like they have let the team down. They don't want to feel like they have let me down, but I let them know you can only be the best version of yourself if you're healthy and you hurt the team by not saying anything and then going out there and getting beat or not performing at your best. That's that plug. When it comes to coaching, if you stay silent on a team while you're hurt, that team doesn't get better, the team gets worse. So it's super important as a man or a young man to, if you need help, to ask for help, If you are hurt, to tell someone hey, I am hurt Because there is a cost for silence and I kind of talked about it or alluded to it in the beginning of this podcast.
Speaker 2:Silent battles become addictions. Silent battles become addictions. Silent battles become broken families. Silent battles becomes a man who is so tired of the assumption of not being seen or heard or that nobody cares, that they put a gun to their head and pull the trigger. Pressure bursts pipes and although that saying has a positive outcome, there's also a negative outcome when we talk about mentally not being well and filling up this, filling pressure inside your life to do and be a certain man when you don't let out the things that you're keeping silent, that are negatively affecting your life, you will explode, and you hardly ever explode on the people. That's not a part of your life. You explode on your wife, your kids, your brother, your sisters, your mom, your dad. You explode on people that if you would just have a conversation with could help. But instead of not having that conversation, you hold it in and then when they come and ask you a question or just want to be around you, you explode.
Speaker 2:Silence does not protect you as a man. It is a poison that if you don't figure out it, will destroy you on the inside, but it also destroys everyone else that you're connected to. So it's super important to make sure that, if you are struggling to talk about it, to figure out a way to not keep it in, because if you keep it in, you will hurt the people around you. It's crazy because society wants and it's not even society, it's women want jobs, want men who looks like they have everything together. They are the most sought after, regardless of if that man is falling apart or not. The world, women, your job, career they don't care for the most part, as long as you look like you are successful, as long as you look like you're charismatic and you're doing all the things that they think you need to do in order to be sought after. And a lot of times men are falling apart mentally and no one ever knows it because we have to put on this front of everything's together.
Speaker 2:How do you break the silence? You have to look in the mirror and hold yourself accountable. You have to check in with yourself daily, especially when you're going through something that you feel is building pressure. You have to be accountable of what you do and what you say and how you feel. Check in with yourself and then check in with other people as well. You're not going to get through this world alone. So, as men, we need other men to make sure hey, are you good in having that conversation? Be vulnerable, because strength isn't silence, it's courage to admit weakness and again, we are weak in some areas. We're not always strong in every area. So being vulnerable and having a conversation and say, hey, I need help in this area makes you strong as a man, makes you stronger as a man. And then find your community.
Speaker 2:Men thrive in tribes. Isolation kills, but when you get into your tribe, it shouldn't just be about talking about women and drinking and not having any deep conversations. You should have deep conversations. You should say, hey, I'm going through this, can we talk through it? You can also have fun. I'm not saying don't have fun, do this, can we talk through it? You can also have fun. I'm not saying don't have fun. But in the midst of the fun, you should still be able to be vulnerable with the people that surround you in your life.
Speaker 2:And I'll tell you right now God never intended a man to carry the weight alone. Even when he brought Jesus into this world, jesus didn't go around by himself. He had his tribe, he had people, he had disciples around him helping him through this process. And we, as men, need other men. We need people in our lives helping us through this process of life, because life is crazy and it has its ups and downs and we're not meant to carry the ups and downs of this world by ourselves. So there are ways you can break your silence. Start small, admit when you feel stress to someone that you trust. You should ask men in your circle more than are you good? You should ask men in your circle, are you good? And when they say yes, ask them again are you good really? Is there anything that me and you can discuss? Is there anything that you're going through that you feel like you're going at it alone? But it's also important to write your feelings, to pray about your feelings, and what I've learned in this process in my life and with this podcast, is a lot of times what I am going through or what I'm feeling, I get on and I talk about it and it just makes me feel better because I know I'm not the only one dealing with it and there's someone out there that is going to hear this, agree with it, and it's going to help them. And to me, that's also a beautiful thing.
Speaker 2:If you are listening to this right now and you are fighting silent, understand this. Silence won't save you. Speaking up will. Real strength isn't in how much you carry, because we can carry a lot. Real strength is admitting when the weight you're carrying is too heavy and you need the help of others to lighten out that load. So we're going to end this podcast with a prayer, a prayer of covering for men in silence. So, father God, thank you for this day, thank you for allowing us to see it. We don't take this day for granted, because this day wasn't promised to us. So I pray that we have made the most of this 24-hour period that you have given us.
Speaker 2:I lift up every man listening right now who is carrying battles in silence. Lord, you see the weight they're under, even when no one else does. Remind them that they are not weak for feeling pain. They are not broken for needing help. They are not less of a man for speaking truth about their struggles. God, give them courage to open their mouths, strength to reach out and peace that passes all understanding. Surround them with brothers and mentors and family who will walk with them through the storm. Remind them that their life matters, that they are seen, valued and deeply loved. Lord, help them stand tall, not because the burdens have disappeared, but because you are carrying it with them. In Jesus' name, amen.
Speaker 2:I also want you to realize and pay attention to the people that are in your lives, and if you can't go to them with a pain or a hurt or a struggle, those people aren't good for you and they should not be in your life. And you have to slowly start pushing them out and bringing people in that don't care about what you're going through. They'll sit in that struggle with you and help you through versus make fun of you and talk about you while in that struggle. So if anyone having told you today that they love you, let me be the first to say I love you. You're awesome, you're amazing. You deserve the best that this world has to offer. Do not give up, do not quit. The world does not get easier, but you will get stronger. You have a blessed weekend and enjoy your three-day weekend. Bye-bye.
Speaker 1:Thank you for listening. Be sure to subscribe to the podcast so you never miss an episode, and for daily motivational and up-to-date content. Follow us on Facebook and Instagram at Excellence Above Talent. And remember keep moving forward, never give up and you are never alone in this battle. We'll see you next time.
